Running To The Closet

It can be quite frustrating holding your urges in check. For instance, I've really wanted to spend some time crossdressing this weekend. I managed to avoid acting on the temptation but ended up feeling rather frustrated because of it. I guess the question is, how do you avoid the frustration, how do you turn it into something positive if you don't want to dress up. I think there may be some correlation with other stresses, such as if you're having a tough time at work or home, that would make us want to hide and retreat from reality. If that is the case, then surely the solution is to man up and solve those issues, rather than running from them.

Best Books for Crossdressing

I can't praise Helen Boyd's book, My Husband Betty: Love, Sex, and Life with a Crossdresser, nearly enough. The book gave me the chance to see a whole new perspective on crossdressing and to understand how my wife feels about my unge to dress up. For my wife, who is reading the book too, it provided the words she needed to express her feelings, her pain and her concerns.

Helen also wrote a follow-up book, which I haven't read yet: She's Not the Man I Married: My Life with a Transgender Husband. I was looking for more on Helen Boyd and found these YouTube videos that mention both books.





Have a look and then check out the books, especially My Husband Betty, it could save you a load of trouble.

Silvia

Actions Speak

Actions speak louder than words. We're too quick to complain while our poor actions as a community do little to endear us to the general public. I recently read this passage in My Husband Betty :

Heather explains:

I see most people that are into fringe movements and lifestyles as a bunch of whiners who would rather try to legislate society's acceptance of their actions than try to make themselves valuable people who happen to be crossdressers (or whatever other fringe they inhabit). To me, no one owes me acceptance, much less encouragement. If they are capable of giving me that, bonus! But, it's not and shouldn't be a given.

She's so right. If the Crossdressing community was know by the good they do, surely we would have a better reputation and a place in society. Why not fight for woman's rights, raise money to fight breast cancer or raise awareness about domestic violence. 


Silvia

What's Going On?

Hey and welcome! Right now I'm researching, making notes and plotting the course of this blog. Why don't you subscribe and you'll be the first in the know when I publish new articles.

If you're looking for something to do why not check out these two pairs of shoes, the 3" heel and the 5" heel and tell me what you think of each. I'd love to know. Also, let me know if you're a girl or a boy, or a boy dressed like a girl.

Silvia

Style Guide 2012 - Manning Up In Stockings!

So how would you dress if you loved woman's clothes but wanted to "man up"? What are the does and dont's of the new age of crossdresser?

Natural tones are in, blacks are a win. If you're wearing browns and khaki you'll look great. Pinks and flora's are out, and avoid red or other hot colours. Blue is okay. In short, you're choosing man colours while wearing woman's clothing. Dress for your age group, avoid suicidally high heels and short skirts and you're on the path to success. Less frills, fewer strings.

 

With make-up remember that less is more, so use subtle, natural colours. Breast forms are out, as are bra's and busty corsets. Rather emphasise your waist and legs. For shoes, leather with a low, thick heel is great. Sneaker type shoes are also great.

Silvia

Hands Off

I came across this video the other day, while I was browsing through YouTube. If you can get over the sound (mute is you're friend), you might learn something.

This kind of reminds me of Hell Boy.

Silvia

Constructive Venting - My Husband Betty

I feel like I'm having a bit of a bad week. To tell you the truth, I really, really want to vent. Still, I feel I have to keep myself rained in a little. We're still getting to know each other, after all. This does, however, give me a good chance to share some other thoughts a little more freely.

No really, why the blog?

I've been wanting to write about what it means to be a Christian man struggling with crossdressing (or transvestitism). I think the Internet has a host of resources for men wanting to crossdress, but not so much to help them be the man they want to be first. I love high heels, but the fact that I love wearing them too bothers me. I think that many men feel the same but have simply given up the fight. With so many sources on the Internet saying "give in" or "power to the panties", more men are succumbing to their feminine side with catastrophic consequences. Marriages are wrecked, careers are damaged and friendships threatened. Crossdressing is a dark world that badly needs the light of truth and love (real love, not the selfish love that permeates the crossdressing community at the moment).

Homework

I've been reading My Husband Betty: Love, Sex, and Life with a Crossdresser by Helen Boyd, which I both highly recommend. I'll offer a word of caution too. This is by far the best resource I've ever read regarding crossdressing, but then most of my reading has been confined to the Internet; not the best place to find trustworthy information. The book offers a wife's perspective on crossdressing, which is invaluable to any man dating or married to a woman (or wanting to eventually date or marry). It may even save your marriage.

Two things bug me about this book.

One, the book is secular in many ways, and I feel that the Christian community would find a "lack of soul" here. I'm not saying Helen Boyd or her husband are bad people, and a discerning Christian will still find this book worthwhile. Simply, this book misses the spiritual perspective it comes so close to seeing. In the same vain, Christians may find this book offensive and in some ways harmful, so be warned. I took it with a pinch of salt and reminded myself of what kind of man I want to be as I read through the book and came away better armed.

Secondly, I wonder if Helen's husband hides some truth from her, and if this doesn't come out in the book. I hope that's not the case. Perhaps it's more a case of each crossdresser being different, but I found things in my own life that were critical to the issue and yet not mentioned. Still, in her defence, this is a woman's perspective and truly valuable in such a male dominated community as that of crossdressers and transvestites (as ironic as that may seem).

If you're looking for answers regarding your or a loved ones issues with crossdressing then grab a copy and start reading.

Silvia

Evolving

I found this funny little play set on HowCool.com. While I could obviously blog about evolution versus intelligent design, I'll avoid that mine field for now. It does make me wonder though, how do we evolve in life? I had the thought today that generally we are all trying to do the best we can with what we have. While some have given up the race, the rest of us simply want to live good lives. Is your crossdressing an escape or are you evolving into a better you? I'd love to see more crossdressers being better men (or women) first. Define yourself with something other than the clothes you wear, since you claim clothes don't make the person.

Silvia

Walk the walk...

I think life is about doing the right thing. Many people seem to think that means doing "what's right for me," but I think that's the thinking that's causing all the trouble these days.

The World is Watching

What you do, what you say, nothing escapes unseen and unheard. We don't live in a vacuum. Why not be the best you can be, a billboard for a better world. People watch and learn from each other all the time, so if I'm kind, loving, strong but gentle (an iron hand in a velvet glove), calm and patient, how much more so will the people around me begin to reflect good things?


If I could be a pair of shoes I'd be these shoes, arms gleefully thrown to the sky and full of life, standing tall and proud. I'd shine my light brightly into every life and people would know the love of Jesus through me. In truth though, I'm more like these shoes, reserved but lovely. That's okay. Just be the best you for a better world.

Silvia

I shouldn't even be here...

It's true, I shouldn't be here. I think the Internet is a pretty remarkable place, where someone can share their thoughts and feeling. Or share a false identity. But here I am, amongst the wolves, so to speak.

Let me be clear from the start; this is only a part of me, it's real enough, but you'll only see the part I want to show. I hope you can love me for who I am.

So why blog? Why Faith & Lace, when there is so much else someone could write about? Again, let me lay down the rules in crystal clarity. I'm going to write about God, love, life, faith and crossdressing. I'm not going to pull punches. I'll mention Jesus, and I'll tell you flat out that I believe He is the risen son of God. As for the lace part, I'm a boy who loves woman's clothing, but I don't think that should make me any less of a man. I'm planning to challenge the common ideas both inside and outside of the crossdressing community of what a transvestite is and can be. It could be a rough ride, but if we learn something then it will all have been worth it.

Silvia Someone