One Leg In

I shaved one leg yesterday. I wanted to shave both but ran out of time. It's the biggest cross-dressing thing I've done since starting this blog. I feel ashamed.

I thought it might be an interesting experiment to see how long it takes for my shaven leg to look normal again.

That's not why I shave my leg though. It's getting colder and I usually shave my legs when it's cold. I have since my university days. It's easy to hide girly legs when it's cold.

But back to my experiment. Could I turn a hiccup up into a learning opportunity?

Unfortunately I shaved the other leg later too.

Hard Work

Yesterday I really wanted to dress up. It had been a busy day with loads of thinking time and when I finally got home I was pretty well focused on the idea. Luckily I had a massive amount of chores to do. Dishes, rubbish, other writing commitments and church meetings. This kept me out of the closet.

Today I feel relieved. I've pushed through some temptations and made it on to the other side. You have to take these things as they come, you can't just change over night.

The lesson here is that hard work helps. "The devil makes work for idle hands" is a truism we should never forget. Besides, a man should be the provider.

Is It Worth The Danger?

Cross dressing is dangerous. Mortally dangerous even! You might lose friends or family, lose your job, be beaten, ridiculed or murdered. We should make no assumptions about how people might accept us since many won't.

Is it worth the risk? I'd love to hear what you think.

It Gets Better

When I was a young cross dresser and realizing that what I wanted to do wouldn't go down well with other people, I felt that I was trapped. I wanted to dress up. People were judgmental. There was nowhere to turn. I didn't know if things would get better or worse.

Now, some years on, I can see that things do get better. I'm married to a wonderful lady who never accepted my dressing and I've worked hard to be a better me without cross dressing as a crutch.

That doesn't mean I don't want to dress up. Heck, I even shave my legs from time to time and have two dresses hanging in my cupboard. But I don't wear those dresses. For me there's a comfort to having them around and a growing joy that I don't need to wear them. Also, I feel happy knowing that my taste for clothes has become less slutty and more "normal".

So things do get better. I know many trannies would say that accepting themselves as cross dressers has made them happy, but I'm not convinced. I don't think the world is an easy place for a normal person to navigate, much less someone dressed as the opposite sex. By giving up the frock and heels you become a better man. I think, especially if you can sympathize with other trannies without judging them. Cross dressing is tough! I still don't know why dressing as a girl appeals to me, but it does. Luckily I can choose what I want to do with it.

Do Some Good In Heels

So for those of you still intent on wearing heels, why not do some good and support the cause against breast cancer by buying these heels. They certainly are an interesting colour. Unfortunately only available up to a US size 10 for men.

I read you!

I was in Tokyo yesterday and got to do some sight seeing. What I didn't expect to see was not one but two men en femme. One was Asian and the other American or British or some such. The funny thing was that the European one saw that I read her/him and probably panicked a little. I wonder what she/he thought I was thinking?

I must say I was surprised. I've been cross dressing for ages now but never seen an actual cross dresser besides myself in actual life. Questions exploded into my head:
How do you go to the toilet? Surely you're invading real woman's privacy?
Do you think no one can tell? Does the silence of those around you equal acceptance?

I really want to reiterate that I'm not here to judge. What works for someone is up to them, I'm looking for what works for me. The experience reminded me why I don't want to be an "out" cross dresser and why I want to outgrow my dressing urges. I want my wife to be proud that I'm on her arm and not a black mark she has to hide.

Read/reading: when you recognize someone isn't of the gender they're intending to portray.
Out: if your family and friends know you're a cross dresser.

Tough Choices

You and I both need to make a choice. Lipstick or the tie? Sissify or Man Up? It's not my place to tell someone who likes cross dressing that they should put away the frock, rather, this blog is aimed at people who, like me, want to beat cross dressing in their own lives. There may be plenty of people out there who say it can't be done, but I'll wager there have been many success stories that, because of the stigma associated to cross dressing, have never been told. So, tell me, what's your choice? What successes have you had?

Frocks Forgotten

It's funny how changing your focus can change your attitude. I've been working hard to achieve personal goals and the result has been that I've hardly thought of crossdressing much in the past few weeks.

I've been looking forward to buying these shoes, but today I found myself clearing my shopping cart and choosing some fun guy things instead. I feel a whole lot happier too, but time will tell. I'll keep you posted.

Silvia
PS: The kiss is just a funny little thing to say "hey, this is a crossdressers blog." I don't mean anything other than playfulness by it.

Running To The Closet

It can be quite frustrating holding your urges in check. For instance, I've really wanted to spend some time crossdressing this weekend. I managed to avoid acting on the temptation but ended up feeling rather frustrated because of it. I guess the question is, how do you avoid the frustration, how do you turn it into something positive if you don't want to dress up. I think there may be some correlation with other stresses, such as if you're having a tough time at work or home, that would make us want to hide and retreat from reality. If that is the case, then surely the solution is to man up and solve those issues, rather than running from them.

Best Books for Crossdressing

I can't praise Helen Boyd's book, My Husband Betty: Love, Sex, and Life with a Crossdresser, nearly enough. The book gave me the chance to see a whole new perspective on crossdressing and to understand how my wife feels about my unge to dress up. For my wife, who is reading the book too, it provided the words she needed to express her feelings, her pain and her concerns.

Helen also wrote a follow-up book, which I haven't read yet: She's Not the Man I Married: My Life with a Transgender Husband. I was looking for more on Helen Boyd and found these YouTube videos that mention both books.





Have a look and then check out the books, especially My Husband Betty, it could save you a load of trouble.

Silvia

Actions Speak

Actions speak louder than words. We're too quick to complain while our poor actions as a community do little to endear us to the general public. I recently read this passage in My Husband Betty :

Heather explains:

I see most people that are into fringe movements and lifestyles as a bunch of whiners who would rather try to legislate society's acceptance of their actions than try to make themselves valuable people who happen to be crossdressers (or whatever other fringe they inhabit). To me, no one owes me acceptance, much less encouragement. If they are capable of giving me that, bonus! But, it's not and shouldn't be a given.

She's so right. If the Crossdressing community was know by the good they do, surely we would have a better reputation and a place in society. Why not fight for woman's rights, raise money to fight breast cancer or raise awareness about domestic violence. 


Silvia

What's Going On?

Hey and welcome! Right now I'm researching, making notes and plotting the course of this blog. Why don't you subscribe and you'll be the first in the know when I publish new articles.

If you're looking for something to do why not check out these two pairs of shoes, the 3" heel and the 5" heel and tell me what you think of each. I'd love to know. Also, let me know if you're a girl or a boy, or a boy dressed like a girl.

Silvia

Style Guide 2012 - Manning Up In Stockings!

So how would you dress if you loved woman's clothes but wanted to "man up"? What are the does and dont's of the new age of crossdresser?

Natural tones are in, blacks are a win. If you're wearing browns and khaki you'll look great. Pinks and flora's are out, and avoid red or other hot colours. Blue is okay. In short, you're choosing man colours while wearing woman's clothing. Dress for your age group, avoid suicidally high heels and short skirts and you're on the path to success. Less frills, fewer strings.

 

With make-up remember that less is more, so use subtle, natural colours. Breast forms are out, as are bra's and busty corsets. Rather emphasise your waist and legs. For shoes, leather with a low, thick heel is great. Sneaker type shoes are also great.

Silvia

Hands Off

I came across this video the other day, while I was browsing through YouTube. If you can get over the sound (mute is you're friend), you might learn something.

This kind of reminds me of Hell Boy.

Silvia

Constructive Venting - My Husband Betty

I feel like I'm having a bit of a bad week. To tell you the truth, I really, really want to vent. Still, I feel I have to keep myself rained in a little. We're still getting to know each other, after all. This does, however, give me a good chance to share some other thoughts a little more freely.

No really, why the blog?

I've been wanting to write about what it means to be a Christian man struggling with crossdressing (or transvestitism). I think the Internet has a host of resources for men wanting to crossdress, but not so much to help them be the man they want to be first. I love high heels, but the fact that I love wearing them too bothers me. I think that many men feel the same but have simply given up the fight. With so many sources on the Internet saying "give in" or "power to the panties", more men are succumbing to their feminine side with catastrophic consequences. Marriages are wrecked, careers are damaged and friendships threatened. Crossdressing is a dark world that badly needs the light of truth and love (real love, not the selfish love that permeates the crossdressing community at the moment).

Homework

I've been reading My Husband Betty: Love, Sex, and Life with a Crossdresser by Helen Boyd, which I both highly recommend. I'll offer a word of caution too. This is by far the best resource I've ever read regarding crossdressing, but then most of my reading has been confined to the Internet; not the best place to find trustworthy information. The book offers a wife's perspective on crossdressing, which is invaluable to any man dating or married to a woman (or wanting to eventually date or marry). It may even save your marriage.

Two things bug me about this book.

One, the book is secular in many ways, and I feel that the Christian community would find a "lack of soul" here. I'm not saying Helen Boyd or her husband are bad people, and a discerning Christian will still find this book worthwhile. Simply, this book misses the spiritual perspective it comes so close to seeing. In the same vain, Christians may find this book offensive and in some ways harmful, so be warned. I took it with a pinch of salt and reminded myself of what kind of man I want to be as I read through the book and came away better armed.

Secondly, I wonder if Helen's husband hides some truth from her, and if this doesn't come out in the book. I hope that's not the case. Perhaps it's more a case of each crossdresser being different, but I found things in my own life that were critical to the issue and yet not mentioned. Still, in her defence, this is a woman's perspective and truly valuable in such a male dominated community as that of crossdressers and transvestites (as ironic as that may seem).

If you're looking for answers regarding your or a loved ones issues with crossdressing then grab a copy and start reading.

Silvia

Evolving

I found this funny little play set on HowCool.com. While I could obviously blog about evolution versus intelligent design, I'll avoid that mine field for now. It does make me wonder though, how do we evolve in life? I had the thought today that generally we are all trying to do the best we can with what we have. While some have given up the race, the rest of us simply want to live good lives. Is your crossdressing an escape or are you evolving into a better you? I'd love to see more crossdressers being better men (or women) first. Define yourself with something other than the clothes you wear, since you claim clothes don't make the person.

Silvia

Walk the walk...

I think life is about doing the right thing. Many people seem to think that means doing "what's right for me," but I think that's the thinking that's causing all the trouble these days.

The World is Watching

What you do, what you say, nothing escapes unseen and unheard. We don't live in a vacuum. Why not be the best you can be, a billboard for a better world. People watch and learn from each other all the time, so if I'm kind, loving, strong but gentle (an iron hand in a velvet glove), calm and patient, how much more so will the people around me begin to reflect good things?


If I could be a pair of shoes I'd be these shoes, arms gleefully thrown to the sky and full of life, standing tall and proud. I'd shine my light brightly into every life and people would know the love of Jesus through me. In truth though, I'm more like these shoes, reserved but lovely. That's okay. Just be the best you for a better world.

Silvia

I shouldn't even be here...

It's true, I shouldn't be here. I think the Internet is a pretty remarkable place, where someone can share their thoughts and feeling. Or share a false identity. But here I am, amongst the wolves, so to speak.

Let me be clear from the start; this is only a part of me, it's real enough, but you'll only see the part I want to show. I hope you can love me for who I am.

So why blog? Why Faith & Lace, when there is so much else someone could write about? Again, let me lay down the rules in crystal clarity. I'm going to write about God, love, life, faith and crossdressing. I'm not going to pull punches. I'll mention Jesus, and I'll tell you flat out that I believe He is the risen son of God. As for the lace part, I'm a boy who loves woman's clothing, but I don't think that should make me any less of a man. I'm planning to challenge the common ideas both inside and outside of the crossdressing community of what a transvestite is and can be. It could be a rough ride, but if we learn something then it will all have been worth it.

Silvia Someone