Doing the maids work...

Let's face it, black hose with a French maid's outfit, that's a core fantasy for most cross-dressers. I figure it's a good thing, because we've got to keep things clean. I did a major washing of all my lady things today and feel much better for it.

Most underwear, stockings and so on can easily be hand washed in cold water. Just add a little clothes washing powder or liquid to a sink of cold water. Then wash similar colours together. Be especially careful of darker colours, because they may run, meaning you could get black everywhere. It's always a good idea to wash your clothes before you wear them to get some of this extra dye out.

When you're done, rinse in cold water and wring out and hang up to dry. If you need to be discreet, you can also wring the clothes in a towel to help them along and hang them out of sight, such as in the shower.

It's a good idea to wash anything, especially underwear after each time you wear it. As a cross-dresser, I often only wear my panties and stockings for a few hours at a time, but it's a good idea to clean them anyway. Hand washing will also make your things last longer.

Wearing Pantyhose

I just came across this little video and thought I'd share.

Have fun wearing those pantyhose!

Slipping... And Getting Back Up

If you've slipped up, like me, and given in to the cross-dressing urge, don't beat yourself up. There's hope yet. This morning I was reading Jeremiah 3, which turned out to be very appropriate.

2b You have defiled the land
with your prostitution and wickedness.
3 Therefore the showers have been withheld,
and no spring rains have fallen.
Yet you have the brazen look of a prostitute;
you refuse to blush with shame.
4 Have you not just called to me:
‘My Father, my friend from my youth,
5 will you always be angry?
Will your wrath continue forever?’
This is how you talk,
but you do all the evil you can.”

Of course, we're not necessarily talking about prostitution, I'm talking about cross-dressing generally, but we could argue something like...

Cross-Dressing Bloggers

Look at most cross-dressing blogs and you'll find pictures of the author. Get a blog, post pics of yourself as Tess or Tammy or whatever. That's how it goes. Now that seems pretty harmless right? But why do we as cross-dressers go to other cross-dresser's sites? For advice, yes, but also, we get a rise out of seeing other men in feminine clothing. Kind of how we might feel if we went to a prostitute, or watched a porn star...

I confess that I took pictures of myself in heels last night and wanted to post them here. Thank God that He cleared my head and I didn't post those photos. I really want my blog to encourage guys to man up, to keep to God's Word and the right path.

God's Plan

God, being all knowing and loving, has a plan:

12b “‘Return, faithless Israel,’ declares the Lord,
‘I will frown on you no longer,
for I am faithful,’ declares the Lord,
‘I will not be angry forever.
13 Only acknowledge your guilt—
  you have rebelled against the Lord your God, ...

Acknowledge your guilt! Tell God that you've gone off the path and ask him for his help. Recovery is just around the bend.

Keep your head up and keep fighting the good fight!

Frocks Forgotten

It's funny how changing your focus can change your attitude. I've been working hard to achieve personal goals and the result has been that I've hardly thought of crossdressing much in the past few weeks.

I've been looking forward to buying these shoes, but today I found myself clearing my shopping cart and choosing some fun guy things instead. I feel a whole lot happier too, but time will tell. I'll keep you posted.

Silvia
PS: The kiss is just a funny little thing to say "hey, this is a crossdressers blog." I don't mean anything other than playfulness by it.

Running To The Closet

It can be quite frustrating holding your urges in check. For instance, I've really wanted to spend some time crossdressing this weekend. I managed to avoid acting on the temptation but ended up feeling rather frustrated because of it. I guess the question is, how do you avoid the frustration, how do you turn it into something positive if you don't want to dress up. I think there may be some correlation with other stresses, such as if you're having a tough time at work or home, that would make us want to hide and retreat from reality. If that is the case, then surely the solution is to man up and solve those issues, rather than running from them.

Best Books for Crossdressing

I can't praise Helen Boyd's book, My Husband Betty: Love, Sex, and Life with a Crossdresser, nearly enough. The book gave me the chance to see a whole new perspective on crossdressing and to understand how my wife feels about my unge to dress up. For my wife, who is reading the book too, it provided the words she needed to express her feelings, her pain and her concerns.

Helen also wrote a follow-up book, which I haven't read yet: She's Not the Man I Married: My Life with a Transgender Husband. I was looking for more on Helen Boyd and found these YouTube videos that mention both books.





Have a look and then check out the books, especially My Husband Betty, it could save you a load of trouble.

Silvia

Actions Speak

Actions speak louder than words. We're too quick to complain while our poor actions as a community do little to endear us to the general public. I recently read this passage in My Husband Betty :

Heather explains:

I see most people that are into fringe movements and lifestyles as a bunch of whiners who would rather try to legislate society's acceptance of their actions than try to make themselves valuable people who happen to be crossdressers (or whatever other fringe they inhabit). To me, no one owes me acceptance, much less encouragement. If they are capable of giving me that, bonus! But, it's not and shouldn't be a given.

She's so right. If the Crossdressing community was know by the good they do, surely we would have a better reputation and a place in society. Why not fight for woman's rights, raise money to fight breast cancer or raise awareness about domestic violence. 


Silvia

Constructive Venting - My Husband Betty

I feel like I'm having a bit of a bad week. To tell you the truth, I really, really want to vent. Still, I feel I have to keep myself rained in a little. We're still getting to know each other, after all. This does, however, give me a good chance to share some other thoughts a little more freely.

No really, why the blog?

I've been wanting to write about what it means to be a Christian man struggling with crossdressing (or transvestitism). I think the Internet has a host of resources for men wanting to crossdress, but not so much to help them be the man they want to be first. I love high heels, but the fact that I love wearing them too bothers me. I think that many men feel the same but have simply given up the fight. With so many sources on the Internet saying "give in" or "power to the panties", more men are succumbing to their feminine side with catastrophic consequences. Marriages are wrecked, careers are damaged and friendships threatened. Crossdressing is a dark world that badly needs the light of truth and love (real love, not the selfish love that permeates the crossdressing community at the moment).

Homework

I've been reading My Husband Betty: Love, Sex, and Life with a Crossdresser by Helen Boyd, which I both highly recommend. I'll offer a word of caution too. This is by far the best resource I've ever read regarding crossdressing, but then most of my reading has been confined to the Internet; not the best place to find trustworthy information. The book offers a wife's perspective on crossdressing, which is invaluable to any man dating or married to a woman (or wanting to eventually date or marry). It may even save your marriage.

Two things bug me about this book.

One, the book is secular in many ways, and I feel that the Christian community would find a "lack of soul" here. I'm not saying Helen Boyd or her husband are bad people, and a discerning Christian will still find this book worthwhile. Simply, this book misses the spiritual perspective it comes so close to seeing. In the same vain, Christians may find this book offensive and in some ways harmful, so be warned. I took it with a pinch of salt and reminded myself of what kind of man I want to be as I read through the book and came away better armed.

Secondly, I wonder if Helen's husband hides some truth from her, and if this doesn't come out in the book. I hope that's not the case. Perhaps it's more a case of each crossdresser being different, but I found things in my own life that were critical to the issue and yet not mentioned. Still, in her defence, this is a woman's perspective and truly valuable in such a male dominated community as that of crossdressers and transvestites (as ironic as that may seem).

If you're looking for answers regarding your or a loved ones issues with crossdressing then grab a copy and start reading.

Silvia