We guys love to build. Make a wooden shelf, program some little app to solve a problem or build a rocket out of stuff in the garage. We also like to mend, repair, improve, tinker and optimise. I think I do that with my cross-dressing image too. Shave this, grow that, lose weight, know how to put this on, coordinate colours... and at the end of the day there's always more to do, more to try.
I don't think there's a natural end to cross-dressing. There is no final goal or big target we're reaching for. Rather, there are perceived targets that cross-dressers aim for. Once we hit them, we move onto the next one. I think this is why some guys start off as cross-dressers and end up living as women, even going through a full sex change. I don't think things end there, and I don't think I can define all cross-dressers with this simplification of things either. But there is some value in thinking about this.
As for myself, I've gone through periods of cross-dressing on and off. During those times I try out more things and push the envelope each time. I do some of the things I usually do, but there is always growth. Always. From learning something new to acquiring more stuff, I get deeper into cross-dressing.
Imagine This
Let's say I decide to define my goals as a cross-dresser. I might say something like "to look dead sexy and feminine, just like a real woman."
Now I might not succeed at my goal, or I might get really good at dressing up and achieve my goal. That may lead to other things (who wants to stand still?). Let's say, for the sake of this illustration, that I keep to my goal. I keep improving my look but don't add new aspects to my goal. What would I think at the end of my life? Take a moment to think about this. If you achieved this goal, of looking sexy and feminine, how would you feel?
On the one hand I'd feel great. Maybe I'm the greatest cross-dresser to ever have lived. Maybe that allowed me to gain fame and fortune. More likely not, since my goal was never to be a star cross-dresser, even though I'm the best in the game. I think I'd feel pretty empty, my goal hasn't achieved anything of worth and my life was wasted.
For Every Action
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, science tells us. I think that's true of how we live our lives, day by day. If all my effort to become the greatest cross-dresser went into something else, how great would I be at that? I could help people, I could build a home (even a house) for my family or reach any number of other, less selfish dreams.
My personal dream is to become a successful writer. I don't see cross-dressing as part of that, and I've often lost writing time to surfing for porn or clothes shopping online. The only good thing that has come out of my cross-dressing, in terms of my goal, is this blog.
Theory is Good, But...
I don't have a silver bullet to get cross-dressing out of the way, but rather an arsenal of different weapons that help in various ways. One thing that helps me is having a dream and related goals. I have a bucket list and lists of goals to help me get there. I highlight important goals, because I need to prioritise. I also don't set unrealistic goals, because I like success. The next part is hard work, and this is the sharp sword that keeps cross-dressing at bay often, because "the devil makes work for idle hands" or "the dress calls to idle minds", if you want a cross-dressing equivalent.
What's your biggest dream? How do you plan to get there? Does cross-dressing have any part in that? I'd love to know. Please leave a comment, even if you just want to say hi.
