Slipping... And Getting Back Up

If you've slipped up, like me, and given in to the cross-dressing urge, don't beat yourself up. There's hope yet. This morning I was reading Jeremiah 3, which turned out to be very appropriate.

2b You have defiled the land
with your prostitution and wickedness.
3 Therefore the showers have been withheld,
and no spring rains have fallen.
Yet you have the brazen look of a prostitute;
you refuse to blush with shame.
4 Have you not just called to me:
‘My Father, my friend from my youth,
5 will you always be angry?
Will your wrath continue forever?’
This is how you talk,
but you do all the evil you can.”

Of course, we're not necessarily talking about prostitution, I'm talking about cross-dressing generally, but we could argue something like...

Cross-Dressing Bloggers

Look at most cross-dressing blogs and you'll find pictures of the author. Get a blog, post pics of yourself as Tess or Tammy or whatever. That's how it goes. Now that seems pretty harmless right? But why do we as cross-dressers go to other cross-dresser's sites? For advice, yes, but also, we get a rise out of seeing other men in feminine clothing. Kind of how we might feel if we went to a prostitute, or watched a porn star...

I confess that I took pictures of myself in heels last night and wanted to post them here. Thank God that He cleared my head and I didn't post those photos. I really want my blog to encourage guys to man up, to keep to God's Word and the right path.

God's Plan

God, being all knowing and loving, has a plan:

12b “‘Return, faithless Israel,’ declares the Lord,
‘I will frown on you no longer,
for I am faithful,’ declares the Lord,
‘I will not be angry forever.
13 Only acknowledge your guilt—
  you have rebelled against the Lord your God, ...

Acknowledge your guilt! Tell God that you've gone off the path and ask him for his help. Recovery is just around the bend.

Keep your head up and keep fighting the good fight!

It isn't all that easy...

I recently started cross dressing again, despite all my ideas on how to beat the urge. I guess I should feel guilty, and I do, a little. But mostly I just want to keep at it. So, how to I refocus on the right goal?


Dissecting the cause

Why did I start at it again? I think it was because I started visiting some of my favourite high heel web stores again. I didn't think this was such a bad thing, but it planted the seeds of thought which resulted in my buying shoes... very sexy high heel shoes... three pairs of very sexy high heel shoes.


Moving on

Stop! Drop! Roll! I can't easily change what I want, but I need to refocus my mind on God and my wife. I've been thinking lately about how everything is spiritual, and in some way affects our relationship with God and people. I know that my wife hates cross dressing because we talk about it from time to time. If she hates it, then it's a barrier to our love and something that needs to get tossed out. I'm also sure God hates cross dressing, because the Bible says so (which is a topic for a whole blog post in itself, but see the book of Deuteronomy chapter 22 and verse 5 from the Bible, quoted below.)

“A woman shall not wear a man's garment, nor shall a man put on a woman's cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God."

So, if God and my wife hate cross dressing, then if I choose to cross dress I'm being selfish, plain and simple.


Have some love...

I don't think God hates guys who want to cross dress. I think it's the act itself. My wife might hate that I want to cross dress, but she doesn't hate me. Look at your situation. Is it the same? Or have we as cross dressers aligned ourselves so tightly with that image and title of "cross dresser" or "transvestite" or whatever that we think they hate us, when really it's the act they hate?

I'm not trying to preach to you. Surely I can't say I'm better than you. I've got shaved legs and just the other night I was wearing all sorts of girly things. My purpose is not to make you feel guilty but to challenge you and, even more so, myself, to be a better man.

Let's do this thing!

One Leg In

I shaved one leg yesterday. I wanted to shave both but ran out of time. It's the biggest cross-dressing thing I've done since starting this blog. I feel ashamed.

I thought it might be an interesting experiment to see how long it takes for my shaven leg to look normal again.

That's not why I shave my leg though. It's getting colder and I usually shave my legs when it's cold. I have since my university days. It's easy to hide girly legs when it's cold.

But back to my experiment. Could I turn a hiccup up into a learning opportunity?

Unfortunately I shaved the other leg later too.

Hard Work

Yesterday I really wanted to dress up. It had been a busy day with loads of thinking time and when I finally got home I was pretty well focused on the idea. Luckily I had a massive amount of chores to do. Dishes, rubbish, other writing commitments and church meetings. This kept me out of the closet.

Today I feel relieved. I've pushed through some temptations and made it on to the other side. You have to take these things as they come, you can't just change over night.

The lesson here is that hard work helps. "The devil makes work for idle hands" is a truism we should never forget. Besides, a man should be the provider.

Is It Worth The Danger?

Cross dressing is dangerous. Mortally dangerous even! You might lose friends or family, lose your job, be beaten, ridiculed or murdered. We should make no assumptions about how people might accept us since many won't.

Is it worth the risk? I'd love to hear what you think.

It Gets Better

When I was a young cross dresser and realizing that what I wanted to do wouldn't go down well with other people, I felt that I was trapped. I wanted to dress up. People were judgmental. There was nowhere to turn. I didn't know if things would get better or worse.

Now, some years on, I can see that things do get better. I'm married to a wonderful lady who never accepted my dressing and I've worked hard to be a better me without cross dressing as a crutch.

That doesn't mean I don't want to dress up. Heck, I even shave my legs from time to time and have two dresses hanging in my cupboard. But I don't wear those dresses. For me there's a comfort to having them around and a growing joy that I don't need to wear them. Also, I feel happy knowing that my taste for clothes has become less slutty and more "normal".

So things do get better. I know many trannies would say that accepting themselves as cross dressers has made them happy, but I'm not convinced. I don't think the world is an easy place for a normal person to navigate, much less someone dressed as the opposite sex. By giving up the frock and heels you become a better man. I think, especially if you can sympathize with other trannies without judging them. Cross dressing is tough! I still don't know why dressing as a girl appeals to me, but it does. Luckily I can choose what I want to do with it.

Do Some Good In Heels

So for those of you still intent on wearing heels, why not do some good and support the cause against breast cancer by buying these heels. They certainly are an interesting colour. Unfortunately only available up to a US size 10 for men.